The End of an Era

An update is in order. Since the scavenger hunt ended, my life has improved dramatically. Unfortunately, misery is what usually gives me the incentive to write. Thus, more evidence now exists for the theory that artists and writers must be tortured and depressed in order to produce their craft.

Instead of trying to increase my own misery so that I can blog more, I've actually been trying to keep up the momentum of happiness. This involves destroying those things which only bring me unhappiness. That's right; today I killed something that has been a vital part of my life for almost eight years. Today I uninstalled and deleted AOL Instant Messenger. Yes, I realize that this instrument of torture is the only means of communication I have with some people. I also do not have the money to afford long distance calls to the members of my buddy list. And yet, I think this is for the best. Here are my reasons--I hope they encourage you to break the cycle, too:

1. People who are actually very nice in person are assholes on Instant Messenger. I've never quite understoood the phenomenon. People say the internet provides anonymity, which makes people more reckless and free, but I'm talking to people that I know. These aren't strangers in a chatroom, with screen names like "HotGrrl776," who are actually fifty-year-old attorneys sitting in front of their computers, naked, with potato chip crumbs sprinkled in their chest hair. These are my friends and acquaintances, but on IM they become vicious cyborgs with no souls.

2. You never know if someone is ignoring you or has just forgotten to put up an away message. I know this is a legitimate concern, because I do it all the time to people I don't like. I get paranoid that someone is mad at me or thinks I'm uninteresting to talk to, and so I get hurt and resentful. Not a good thing at all.

3. Everyone is a comedian on Instant Messenger. You can't talk about anything serious for even five seconds before the person you're talking to makes some wisecrack. Once again, I do the same thing myself. I think it's that we're given too much time to think about our responses, so we stop answering sincerely and spend the extra seconds being clever. By the time you wade through all the bullshit, you only come up with two or three lines of actual worthwhile conversation. What a waste of time.

4. No one can hear your tone. This is bearable until you start discussing a sensitive subject, when all of a sudden the person on the other computer begins to italicize certain words in his or her mind, blowing things out of proportion and hearing insults where they don't exist. This usually leads to one person haughtily signing off, which leads to my next point...

5. Behavior that normally would be considered extremely rude is the status quo online. Someone can stop talking to you in mid-conversation, return 30 minutes later, and say, "Sorry, I started watching TV and forgot I was online." People sign off in a huff online when in person they probably wouldn't just turn and run away into the woods or something. People sign on and then don't leave an away message, so you message them for a few minutes until you get annoyed and give up. If this doesn't sound so bad to you, think about how you would feel if you drove up to a place of business that had an "Open" sign, but when you walked in you waited at the counter for 15 minutes and no one appeared. Wouldn't you be annoyed?

The conclusion is, AIM does not increase communication. It increases miscommunication. I've had so many ridiculous fights online that have actually ended friendships, and I finally started thinking, what if I just didn't sign on anymore? How many times has that monthly catch-up phone call to a friend ended in bitter emnity? Very few in my case. Where I seem to get into the most trouble is on AIM, so I'm closing the little door for good. Slam! I may miss some things, but not as much as I'll enjoy not seeing those people who keep up an away message 24/7. What, I ask you, is the point of signing on in the first place? Are you so narcissistic that you have to tell everyone you know that you're too busy to talk to them?

As for me, I'm not too busy to talk. In fact, I'll even talk with my actual voice, if you're ever interested in hearing it.