And she's dancin' like she's never danced before

Most of your are probably familiar with Austin's (in)famous Sixth Street, that long stretch of bars, clubs, restaurants, and pool halls where everyone in the city comes to drink themselves into a tizzy. If you aren't acquainted with this beautiful road, you're more than welcome to come down and stay with me while we explore it together. Everyone should see this spectacle at least once: a thousand people stumbling drunkenly in the middle of the street at 2 a.m. when the bars close. And to what destination are they stumbling? Their cars, of course. Isn't that a comforting thought?

Last night L (old coworker), E (new coworker), and I (that's not an initial for someone's name--it refers to me) went down to Sixth Street to show E the Austin nightlife. L is a teetotaler now, but she tells us she USED to drink, so I tried all night to buy her just one little mixed drink. No dice; last time she got drunk on Sixth she had so many Cape Cods that she lost all sense of where she was and eventually ended up losing her wallet. With a monster of a hangover the next day, she had to call every bar they'd been to before giving up and cancelling all of her credit cards and getting new copies of every other random card she had. This has frightened her from drinking for over a year since, but my argument is simple: moderation. People should neither get drunk nor be afraid to touch alcohol. They should get a little buzz, have fun, relax, laugh, feel good, and then stop drinking alcohol, start drinking water, and drive home stone-cold sober. That's what alcoholic beverages are for; that's why the Bible (yes, the Bible) says that the Lord provides wine to gladden the heart of men (see Proverbs 104). The Bible also gives strong warnings against drunkenness, of course, and those of us who are prone to weeping, drunken dialing, and running into walls should heed those warnings (I'm speaking in a general way here, of course...).

So E and I had a few drinks, L had Diet Coke, and we skipped from bar to bar looking for a good time. We started off at the Library, which had incredibly loud music and a $2.50 special on Long Island Iced Tea. E took one of those, but I stuck with my tried-and-true favorite, the White Russian. The bartender was generous with the vodka and Kahlua (that's a hell of a Caucasian, Jackie). We moved on to Lovejoy's, which has some decent beer, some creepy fantasy wall paintings, and some very hip counterculture Austinites. E fit right in with her facial piercings; I looked more out of place with my denim mini-skirt, Banana Republic soft pink tee, and carefully layered hair.

[Which reminds me...I have a new haircut! That's right, all that long, blonde hair is now in the trash at Halina's Day Spa in Round Rock. My stylist, Blondie (no last name), started by slashing a five-inch-long chunk off my head and handing it to me. My heart temporarily stopped beating, but I gulped and told her to keep going. Now my hair is very short and very cute, and I think it's the reason I got hit on so much last night. Boo-yah!]

From Lovejoy's we went to Friend's and jumped up on the dance floor. We were having such a blast, dancing our little hearts out, and it felt wonderful to be alive. It's been so long since I danced, and even though I had to fend off a few would-be suitors on the dance floor (my heart and my magic dancing hips belong to Elliot), I still can't imagine a better way to spend the evening than sweating on a hot dance floor.

We ended up at Katz's for coffee and dessert to wind down before I drove L and E to their respective homes. E ended up living with a middle-aged woman in a funky old house in East Austin (read: ghetto), who spends her time feeding a thousand stray cats on her front porch. Poor E is sleeping on the wooden floor atop an air mattress that she punctured a few nights ago, but she plans to get a mattress next week. And no, she didn't puncture the air mattress with any of her facial piercings or political buttons, just in case you were wondering. I came home tired and happy, and I woke up this morning trying to remember what I used to do for fun in Oklahoma. I'm still working on that one.

Life is sweet here in Austin. I'm only sorry you poor fools live somewhere else.