Hopped up on Goof Balls

I am incredibly energetic right now, not because I'm on any drug, but because I had a two-hour nap. Let me tell you all you pathetic, dark-circled, ulcered freaks out there who believe in the idea of a "power nap" that you need a good, hard slap in the face. If you honestly believe that 15-30 minutes of half-sleep on your made bed is good for you, then you might as well give up on sleeping at night, too. Just power nap every few hours until you die at 40 years old because the shocks to your system from being pulled from blissful sleep just a moment before it really does you any good will cause your heart to stop beating. You bastards.

I'm also in a liberal rage, which always gives me a blast of healthy hate comparable only to my disdain for the Atkin's diet. Jefe's blog just featured a litany of idiotic comments from people who have their panties in a bunch over Mexican immigrants, who for some reason they can't understand, don't speak English. Aaaagh! Also, my friend Tiffany sent me a borderline racist forward detailing a plan to kick all immigrants out of the U.S., especially Arabs, since we "don't need anymore cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers." When I immediately responded with an enraged reply, she managed to turn me into the bad guy, because I was too "mean" in my honesty. Rather than apologize for mass-emailing racist propaganda, she tried to make the issue about me and our friendship. It's human nature, I suppose, and we've all been guilty of this kind of misdirection, but frankly, I don't have the time in my life to humor people who support racism even in the smallest way. Everyone has their "filters," those things which automatically disqualify people you meet from ever having your respect or friendship, no matter what other saving attributes they might have. For my mother, it's people with tattoos. For me, it's racism. Show me that you're a racist, and you're blacklisted, at least until you make an effort to educate yourself and get rid of whatever prejudices you were raised with.

Alright, I've got to stop. Let's get back to Highlights from Love Week. I took Elliot to see Esther's Follies, a variety show that Z and I attended as part of our scavenger hunt. I knew Elliot would like it, but I was stupid enough to forget how they interact with people on the front row. They seated us right in the middle of the row in front of the stage, and they kept after poor El the whole time. Between being forced to grab an actress' fake breasts (and then berated by the magician for it) and being called "Cueball," El was the star of the show. Fortunately, he was a good sport about it, which is one of the reasons I love him so much. I have endless respect for people who can laugh at themselves; it reminds me that we all take ourselves way too seriously most of the time. Like all you fucking racists out there who think that the reason you're poor is because Mexicans are taking money of your taxes for welfare...whoops, lost control there for a second. I'm back on track now, don't worry.

One of the coolest things we did during El's visit was go see Li'l Cap'n Travis, a band which defines cool in the Austin sense of the word. They are the only non-country band I've ever seen that features a pedal steel guitar in every single song. And believe it or not, it works. We saw them in a place called the Cactus Cafe, which is an actual bar inside the UT student union. I don't know why UT gets to have a bar in their student union while OU doesn't even serve alcohol at their football games, but it seems ridiculously unfair. All of you folks who still live in Norman...move here to Austin. But if you can't do that, check out LCT's show this Friday at the Opolis. You won't regret it.

I can't wait to fall asleep soon. There's nothing like the feeling of sleeping only a few hours after you've woken up from a two-hour nap. It's like eating chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. Yes, oh, yes.