Cancer can be funny

So I have a job working to raise money for blood cancer research: lymphoma, leukemia, Hodgkin's, and so on. I thought that this would make me feel like a good person, but today I had what is possibly one of the worst moments of my life, at least as far as seeing myself for what I really am.

I had called the principal of a school yesterday, but her secretary told me she was out sick. I called back today, told her who I was, and asked if she was feeling better. "Actually, I wasn't sick," she replied, "I was out yesterday because my brother-in-law died of lymphoma."

Now, what do you think was the first thought to go through my head? Was it: Wow, that's horrible? Was it: That poor woman, she must be so sad? Something along those lines?

No. It was "Oh, good, she'll probably sign up with our fundraiser now."

A few seconds later, the realization of what a blackened, evil soul I had came crashing down on me so hard that I could barely contain the hysterical laughing/crying that came when I finally hung up the phone a few minutes later. I turned to my fellow fundraiser and told her what I had done, hoping that by confessing it I could be forgiven. Her name is Angel; I think I'm going to change my name to Demon.

I think I've hit some sort of cynical rock-bottom. I've been listening to David Cross albums lately, and two of my favorite lines have been:

"Raising kids isn't hard. You know what's hard? Talking your girlfriend into her third consecutive abortion."

"[talking about how much he hates the band Creed] I would rather hear the death rattle of my only child than listen to that shit."

I don't think that good people laugh at that sort of thing. The people in the audience on the CD sound pretty horrified, and I'm sure there was a time that I would have been one of them. No more. I have crossed a line, and only a conversion to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints could bring me back over the line at this point. Help me, Joe. Show me the way.

Give money to cancer research, by the way. Just because there's a hurricane doesn't mean every other charity should have to go under.