Emails I Have Actually Sent Out to Everyone in My Building, Part 1

"The tax man has cometh, and now he has goneth."

Dear Clients,

Please join us this Thursday, April 20th, for our after-taxes breakfast celebration. We're all glad that tax season is over, and we need some comfort food to make us feel better about all the money we owe the government. We're not sure what to call the celebration yet, so please vote for your favorite title:

"Uncle Sam Has Left the Building"

"The Power of Deduction"

"Keep your Itemize on the Prize"

"Deep in the Heart of Taxes"

"Give Yourself Some Credit"

"Withhold Me All Night Long"

"A Token of Our Depreciation"

The celebration will take place in the atrium (look for the creepy fish) at 9:00am Thursday morning. We'll have breakfast tacos, sausage, biscuits and gravy, fruit, cinnamon rolls, and egg casserole. And don't worry, I personally will not be cooking any of these items.

See you there!

Doctor: I'm sorry, ma'am, but you only have six months to live.
Patient: Oh, no! What should I do?
Doctor: Marry an accountant.
Patient: How will that make my life longer?
Doctor: It won't, but it will SEEM longer.