Lords and Ladies

I've heard that with other people, she gets inside of you and knocks you out immediately. But I'm special. My lover Ambien seduces me slowly, making the world shimmer and shine before she finally drags me to bed. She makes the world around me breathe along with my own rhythms. She holds me in strong, black arms, as long as I want her to, all night long, and sometimes she sings me to sleep, her tiny voice in my ear.

But I like fucking men, too, as some of you know, and some of you quite personally. That's where my studly Provigil takes over as my willowy Ambien drifts off into the morning's shadows. Provigil is steadfast and true; he carries me around all day, my eyes bright, my spine straight and erect, pressed against his wide, strong chest. They are never jealous of one another, my two lovers, and for that I love them even more.

I have pills to sleep, pills to wake up, pills to dull pain. Pills to keep me from infections, pills to keep my bones from rotting away, pills to keep my mind from believing things it shouldn't, pills to keep my body from decaying within. I have needles, and vials in the fridge, and creams for every occasion.

I could throw them all away now, or I could take them all at once. What do you think? A wise man once said you shouldn't kill yourself because you want to die, you should kill yourself because you're dead already.

I can't figure it out. And Ambien wants me to stop thinking and come to bed. Mmmm...good night.