Get a Rope

F, my ultra-conservative boss, is trying to suck the soul out of my body. Why? Because people without souls vote Republican.

I know I haven't updated in a long time, but you must understand that being a VISTA doesn't mean I have just a "job." It's a 24/7 commitment--there is no time that I cannot be called upon to serve my country, and lately that time has been ALWAYS. As Jerry (AmeriCorps head of Texas) says, the U.S. government only defines me as a federal employee when it's convenient for the government to define me as a federal employee. That means it can hold me to all the rules and regulations of a federal employee without giving me any of the benefits. So I'm working day and night, but I have no money.

Which brings me back to F. While working late tonight and making no money for it, I spent a half hour tonight trying to convince her that bisexual people are not mentally disabled. Apparently F is progressive enough to believe that people are born one way or another (although she hinted at "resisting one's impulses" as being a virtue), but there are no sunny hinterlands beyond the strict borders of "gay" and "straight." L, my usually liberal co-worker, was on F's side for once, saying that she thought bisexuals were just greedy. She wanted them to pick a side, make up their minds, get with the program. I was surprised to hear her go so far as to say she didn't "believe" in bisexuality, that if you had the capability to be attracted to a member of your own sex, you were already gay whether you admitted it or not. I argued with them until my mouth went dry, but it was like trying to find WMD's in Iraq--impossible. After going on and on about gender theory, feminism, sexuality, erotic energy, socialization, and parenting, I was out of breath just in time to hear F make a veiled comparison between homosexuals and drug users. Looks like I really got somewhere with her, huh?

My new co-workers, J and E, have been "tamed" by F and the Corporation for National and Community Service. E came in with an impressive array of facial piercings, and J came in with a mohawk. Well, J got a last-minute haircut from F the night before our first presentation to the students, and E removed all her mutilations except the acceptable ones in her earlobes. I didn't argue with the higher-ups on this one, simply because I understand that the parents of our students won't support their children in our program if they don't trust our coaches. And in conservative suburban Texas, they ain't happy about folks who look "differ'nt." Our objective here is not to expand our students' sense of personal liberty; it's to get them into college. Anything that gets in the way of our mission isn't worth doing, so the weird looks had to go. I really regret it, though, since both J and E are incredibly unique people who like to shake things up. I like it that people who look "differ'nt" make us question our arbitrary notions about beauty and what's "normal." We are all so duped into believing that all of our expectations are natural, that we were born knowing the right way to apply eyeshadow.

I will try to be better about updating in the future. For those of you who miss me, I will be in Tulsa this Labor Dabor Weekend. I can't promise that I'll have time to see you, since this will be a big family weekend, but it's always worth a shot. Elliot will be there with me, and he's fucking HOT, so you might want to check him out. Also, since my mother lost her job and can't find another one, she's gone off the deep end and started making jars and jars of salsa. Feel free to stop by and take a few bottles for your family. It's cheaper than Pace Picante, and it's not made in New York City.