As I Lay Living

After much consideration, I have decided that now would be an excellent time to die. Who knows when my time was supposed to come, and whether it would have been a good or bad time? I've found the right time, and I'm sticking with it. By the time you read this, I will be lying on my bed at home, motionless. No, I'm not committing suicide; I'm just going to lie there and will myself to die. I'm sure it will work.

Why now? Well, I don't have very many loose ends to tie up, for one thing. The bridges I've burned have been burned well, so there's no lingering fights or disagreements to be worried about leaving. My relationship with my family is good, and I'll soon have life insurance to cover the funeral costs for them (if I died without that insurance, I'd feel terrible), and my brother is married and has promised my mother a grandchild (which will take her mind off my death). Jeff and I broke up (again!) this week, so I don't have to worry about leaving him alone. I have plenty of good friends that would be sorry to see me go, but given my track record, I will no doubt fuck up those relationships eventually, so now is a good time to quit while I'm ahead.

Yup. Definitely dying. No, you cannot have my iPod.

I love this man.

Lorne: In Colorado, you could drink out of the mountain streams with no worries except for perhaps a little bear urine.

Muskrat: Bear urine's good for you, I hear. They're going to start bottling it soon.

Lorne: Yes, I think I've heard about that. They're calling it "Coors."

Death Becomes Her

My boss hinted the other day that I looked a bit scary due to the dark circles under my eyes. I wanted to tell her if she could see inside my head she would know from scary.

The truth is, I haven't really looked at myself in a mirror in weeks now. My eyes look dead, and it gives me the utter creeps. Do you remember as a kid the urban myth that if you spun around in front of a mirror in the dark and repeated "Bloody Mary" three times, some evil woman would appear in the mirror? I think I'm still afraid of her.

Jeff and I broke up.

Yeah.